Best excuse’s to pull a sickie from work?

Don't do what my mate JJ did yesterday, and blag a day off with the
squits, then get thoroughly sunburnt at a trackday, and have to go back
to work with a bit of explaining to do!

 

Well amusing

 

I use tonsilitas the most but I usually do have it.

I once used getting arrested as an excuse!(long story)

 

Call your boss's mobile from a payphone with a different area code. Then make up a story that even you wouldn't believe. Something along the lines of 'I went for a meal in (insert area code place) with me g/f, we had a meal in chinese resturant where the waiter kept making sleezy innuendos towards g/f. Words were exhanged, it got messy, and ended up outside. I fought the whole crew. Kicked thier as$es. Kung Fu style. Then, the head chef comes out with a meat cleaver. Whooped him proper, geezer. Anyway the police turned up and arrested ME. Can you belive it(no). This is my first phone call after being relasesed without charge, but NOW, my cars been clamped because g/f, she parked the car, outside the police station, on DOUBLE YELLOWS. Are you following(no) So, now, i'm off to the bank to get some money, go home, have a shower, pay solicitors fee's, and argue with g/f.

Boss'll belive it cos it's all about the area code. Trust me(dont). Proceed to go on the biggest bender that you can afford.
Edited by: Jsem

 

say "im getting a mole removed from my cock.........last time im gonna f*ck one of them"

i'll get my coat.............taxi!!!!!!!!!

 

very

I used to keep them simple, a migraine is a goodun as you wont want to pick up the phone after youve made the first call, then you sod off to the beach. I used to get stomach ulcers (whisky induced) and the pain was incredible but I played that one for ages afterwards. Also a good dose of the craps is a beuty especially if you can leave them a demo in the office pot a few weeks before so they know that you are a danger to have around