Made me laugh anyway lol

Ahh, my poor geography skills lose me the laugh.

I'd better watch the poor generic scotch jokes, you might see my sister out of the window of your rig one day. Wouldn't want you hurling abuse at her as she might get angry and lose control of the supply boat.

 

A precious little girl who is learning how to speak walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little voice "Excuse me, mister, do you keep widdle...rabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabdy or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit"

 

Schoolboy error...you southern puffs really should learn to look what's north of Watford.

I'd say so...calling them 'Scotch' assures a negative reply, I find!

Who does she work for?
I could really freak her out on the old VHF radio!

BTW, there are very few windows on 'rigs'...although, technically, I'm on a platform. Rigs can move...platforms don't!
No windows in my control room...

 

Boom boom...the jokes just keep coming...

 

You are in the Jokes & Funnies section

 

Sh*t...what am I doing in here?

Oh yeah...stalking you!

 

My bottle of Merlot appears to have a hole in it...that's the 2nd one in a week. I'm not impressed...

 

Fear not it is your age!! I will escort you back to your bed

 

She never left.

Boom tish.

 

Anglo Eastern. Would take alot to freak her out lol

 

[:^(] On my way!

 

Tremendous...at my age, you normally have to pay healthily for that!
Game on!

 

Don't recognise the company...do they serve those minature installations off Lincolnshire/Norfolk?

Not sure if they are out in the big bad North Sea where the real North Sea Tigers live.
RARR.

 

Well Ess Three and M1keh I am off to bed, another early start tomorrow!! sweet dreams

 

Not too sure where exactly they are, it's a crewing agency though, so probably why you wouldn't of heard of them.

 

[strikethrough]Back up a minute...they`re letting women pilot Supply Vessels these days?? I`m so glad I`m not out on the North Sea anymore...[/strikethrough]

As something of a feminist I think it`s great there are women pilot Supply Vessels nowadays.

 

lucky sods

 

Hahahaha >rubs head< I fell asleep wrapped up to my two favourite men...........woke up to thegave!!!

But it all seriousness though I did collapse this morning after feeling faint!!!



....................Incase it happens again, can you write down what I was given and put it in my pocket

 

Just decided to post on this thread, instead of making another

Lazy........I know!

The Hotel Bill
An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for 250.00.

She explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth 250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."

The clerk told her that 250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."
'But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque." But madam, this cheque is only made out for 50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you 200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

 

Tsk tsk very lazy, but you do get away for it as this made me laugh